In too few words… #poetry #poem

Perhaps I use too few words
in my poetry,
I don’t tend to favour over-long words,
that have me reaching for the dictionary.

There’s a skill and wit in brevity,
in the crafting of a message directly
in such a way that it can be
remembered easily,

e.g.:

In too few words
you say the things that hurt the most:
‘I’m leaving’
‘It is over’
‘It was never really love.’

In too few words, I say the opposite
to try and hold you close:
‘I love you.’
‘Don’t leave me.’
‘Think it over one more time.’

And when I think it over
there were too few words 
of love for me there
(always my mistake.)

This time

I think I’ll take
a new perspective: 
sit down at my writing-desk and
change the aspect ratio, try to distill
the yearnings of the heart
into few words.

© Experimentsinfiction 2021, All Rights Reserved

Sharing with dVerse

It’s Open Link Night over at dVerse Poets’ Pub. I am linking this poem which fits the week’s de facto theme of self-acceptance and self-examination.

81 thoughts on “In too few words… #poetry #poem

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  1. This drew a deep, long and contented sigh from me 🙂 so much to love here especially; “There’s a skill and wit in brevity, in the crafting of a message directly in such a way that it can be remembered easily.” Yes!! 💝💝

  2. wow such a powerfully profound insight … often those short statements are the ones that deeply imbed!

    and as I said in my ‘great’ wordsmith post … those who say it simply are far more relatable.

  3. Oh, how heartache leaves us lost in brevity. As if the our heart only speaks in a few syllables, and the way you’ve expanded it here. Touching.

      1. Thank you Linda, yes the first one came through as anonymous but I dod get them and appreciate them 😊

  4. Yes, that’s the beauty of poetry, fewer words and space for interpretation. But too few words is another ballgame, especially in a relationship. These lines got to me:
    ‘And when I think it over
    there were too few words
    of love for me there’.

  5. Thanks to d’Verse and many of you, even an old windbag like me has learned to like and appreciate brevity in some of my poems. The Asian forms have really impressed me, and has altered my style, my poetic voice.

  6. I love how you moved from writing to feelings and relationship. Brevity has its place. Some people go on and on and never say anything.😀 That last stanza though is so poignant.

  7. Ingrid, a lovely, insightful poem! I love a $10 word here and there, but I think that too many trips to the dictionary tend to spoil the flow of a poem. Ingrid, I love your poems and greatly admire your versatility! In my opinion, you always strike the right balance. <3 <3 <3 Have a wonderful day!

    1. I think a well-places $10 word is a great thing, but in certain circumstances it’s better to leave them out. Thank you for your kindness Cheryl ❤️🙏🙏🙏 wishing you a wonderful weekend also 😊

  8. Insightful lines, Ingrid. When the heart is speaking, as it so often does through poetry, I believe it does so with the just right words that are easily understood. 💓

    1. I love your poem but unfortunately your site doesn’t like me again today…you may receive 3 comments or none at all 🤪

      1. Thank you Ingrid. Yes they all came through. I have the same challenge with other sites. It is so frustrating isn’t it? Do you get the response “unable to post your comment”? When that happens I try again, and again, only to discover it posted all of them! Just as yours all posted. Some WP glitch 😬

      2. The comments just disappeared and I couldn’t see them on your site – perhaps I should have refreshed before reposting 🤦🏽‍♀️

  9. I think men in general are better with few words than women. Twitter has helped to keep me from stammering on in my poems, haha! I think when you are truly connected with someone like a spouse you need few words. It’s nice that way. ❤

  10. Writing for short poems will each require a special skill. Was it Sir Winston Churchill who apologized for ‘not having the time to write a short letter’ Great thoughts Ingrid!

    Hank

  11. I am a writer who uses few words so I appreciate the topic of your poem greatly. Sometimes less is more.
    I like the way you applied this to the words spoken in a relationship, especially this stanza.

    In too few words
    you say the things that hurt the most:
    ‘I’m leaving’
    ‘It is over’
    ‘It was never really love.’

    I enjoyed your poem.
    Be well.
    Ali

  12. There are always words, but you don’t always get to use the ones you want to whom you want how you want when you want.

  13. Ah, this is amazing. I try to use few words sometimes. But I do love the richness of description and the beauty of exploring language, in this case English.
    But Ive been working on cutting it short, but still rich

    1. Don’t cut out the words that are in your heart! I just don’t like when people use words just to sound ‘poetic’ but don’t really mean anything…

      1. I understand but sometimes that’s the fun side to writing poetry, manipulating words and their meanings. Though I agree with you, that it has to make some kind of sense

  14. sometimes in poetry we use too many words that expresses our feelings but only using a few can show how someone really feels. I also write poetry on blog if you’re interested in looking at it. I really liked this piece, hope you have a great day !

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