I don’t want to feel
this fat
I balance my laptop
on top of it
so I don’t have to look:
remember when it used to be flat
that was before
Covid-19
five months of winter lockdowns
eating away my misery
–how lucky are we?
So who am I to complain
about this fat, me
who always has plenty, and
can choose just what to eat?
Best get off my lardy arse
Or learn to live with it!
Let’s talk about body image…
I struggled with mine in my early twenties, to the point that I was borderline anorexic. Then I learned to accept myself more-or-less, and I know if I exercise, I can eat more-or-less what I want without putting on much weight.
When I was pregnant, I was horrendously worried about my weight gain. It didn’t help to have people commenting on it all the time. I gained 20 kg with my second pregnancy. It was summer in Spain, and too hot to exercise. I also craved all the ‘wrong’ foods. I knew I would lose it when breastfeeding, but the midwife kept telling me I was ‘too fat’ to the point where I started to believe it, and hate my pregnant body. Then guess what? The weight fell off when breastfeeding, so it turned out I was right: my body was just preparing to nourish my baby.
Then came lockdown number 2, winter in Northern Slovenia. Locked in by snow and a global pandemic. Bye-bye, active lifestyle! I know I’ve gained a few pounds (as my jeans don’t fit) and I know why (no exercise). It seems to be taking a while to get my fitness back this time, but if I’ve learned one thing, it’s to love my body whatever form it takes: it’s done so much for me. If it demands the odd sweet treat from time to time, who am I to refuse it?
From your photos, you look great to me. I was very thin when I got pregnant both times, and also gained about 40 libs that came off with breastfeeding. But now I have bulges I never had before. I think in my case, it’s age-related, too.
I think out bodies change with age and we have to embrace that and learn to love ourselves whatever shape we take! There is far too much pressure on women to conform to a certain shape though.
So true.
You’re right. The present situation we find ourselves in has done our bodies and our resolves a mean turn. Me included— no exercise! 😱 can’t fit into my old clothes.
But I try to have healthy snacks and food ONLY to compensate.
Stay the course, healthy and accepting of your body regardless. Be well. I wish you miracles.
The healthy snacks and food thing is difficult for me! But I switched to a vegan diet recently and feel really good 😊
You’re trying. And that counts so much.
You’ll be fine. Stay strong. Here’s cheering you on. Yay!
Haha … I’m in trouble… we are heading into winter now … for me lots of warm eating is mandatory …
Soups, stews and steaming puddings? 😃
Funnily enough I had a blood test the other day and my Vit D is low. Like everyother else, I reckon.
Yes, too long in the dark!
story of my life
excellent post! You’ve captured the consequences and thoughts of the lockdowns.
Thank you 🙏
I don’t know if I can totally blame the lockdown, I think I’m just lazy! 🤣 I need to get on my treadmill in the basement. But I do prefer walking outside when the weather is nice. I definitely gain weight as well when I just sit all day. Finding the energy is another struggle!
I took my son out on the bike today, which basically means a sprint for me and being crippled the next day 😅
That’s part of my problem, my son is a teen now and he just sits on the computer like me! I kind of miss chasing him around. I do walk up and down stairs a lot though, and I’m counting that as exercise. 😆
Love this!!! I’m in the same boat, and feeling the same way. Oddly ;)), I love my body, even though I’m not as thin as I used to be, possibly even more so than before… I was very slim though while breastfeeding and loved it then too. The trick with both states was the state of mind… I just felt content with myself, without really trying. Much love, good topic, well said!! xoxo
Thanks Lia! It’s self-acceptance: the holy grail, you’re right 🙏
That’s it… which definitely, definitely comes and goes, for me at least… 😩😅
Same here: but I think overall I’m getting better at it 😅
I connect with this, Ingrid, but on a different level. I am quite young and quite active but, until a couple years ago, never really loved my body. No matter what I did, I always seemed to stay the same. Despite feeling the difference in myself, I was almost ignoring it.
Now, despite my curves, I am proud that I am able to try new things physically and love what my body can do. Love that you are over the sugar shame; a sweet treat when called for is not a sin but a celebration.
Thank you for sharing your body-positivity journey in this heartfelt and relatable piece!
Thank you Jaya. I think the whole idea of being ashamed of our bodies and letting other people judge them for us is so sad.
I totally relate to this and love you poem.
I think you put it all in your big toe.. seriously but it’s the covid 15 … just pretend your in college.
💖 Ingrid💗 🤣
This … “I’ve learned one thing, it’s to love my body whatever form it takes: it’s done so much for me.”
I couldn’t agree more❣️❣️❣️
I went for a run (after Ollie) yesterday and now I can’t walk 😅😅😅 my body is protesting but I love it anyway 😍
lol 🤣🤣🤣 You have muscles 👏👏👏 YAY❣️
pretend your a guy and stand up and use the outdoor toilet. You won’t be able to sit on the throne.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
💖👏👏👏👏
‘Best get off my lardy arse or learn to live with it!’ made me laugh out loud! A very relatable poem.
Thanks 😂 I’m pleased you liked it!
I’ve certainly gained a lot of weight the last year, but I don’t think the rolls of fat will ever disappear at this point, even if I lose weight. I don’t like it though. But my body is old, and at least I’m still alive, wrinkles, fat and all. (K)
We shouldn’t be so hard on our bodies!
I try not to look in the mirror. Then I can look like whatever I want!
🙂
This is a timely piece because I have added some “Covid” weight myself and am heavier than I have been. This reminds me I need to get out on bicycle today!! Very nice poem and commentary!😀
I’ve been on my bike a few times but running the other day was a step too far! 🏃♀️
I feel you 😊 Great post 👍🏻
Thank you 🙂