Night Falls #poetry #dVerse

Night falls upon the frozen mountain-land
hardy tufts of grass lit in gold green
an empty hand in glove an empty hand
holds onto nothing bigger than a dream

Hardy tufts of grass lit in gold green
ignite the hillside, spark within my heart
holds onto nothing bigger than a dream
and nothing better for a place to start

Ignite the hillside! Spark within my heart
melodious strains of valleys steeped in song!
There’s nothing better for a place to start
two rights to join, and so correct a wrong

Melodious strains of valleys steeped in song, 
an empty hand in glove an empty hand
two rights to join, and so correct a wrong
as night falls on the frozen mountain-land

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A Pantoum for dVerse

January seems to be the de facto month of the Pantoum on WordPress, so I thought I’d try my hand at one myself, for the first time in a long time. I hope you like it!

Sharing with dVerse Open Link Night: Join us and link up a poem of your choice!

Also linking up to Earthweal’s 100th Open Link Weekend!

95 thoughts on “Night Falls #poetry #dVerse

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  1. That is a very. very attractive form, I like that idea of jumbling up the lines. I think – following my reading of your lovely poem, that this really plays with the emotions/mind of the reader in a really interesting way, where the same lines play differently with each other. So interesting, lovely poem – again!

  2. Love the clipped vigour in this: ‘ignite the hillside, spark within my heart
    holds onto nothing bigger than a dream’ Great lines

  3. Your lovely poem made me gaze from words to image as they compliment each other so well. I believe I have only attempted this form once. You have mastered it. Love the slight modifications for repetitive lines.

  4. Aww, it seems you’ve mastered this form, Ingrid. I think I’ve attempted it only once. Just love the slight modifications you’ve made in the repetitive lines. This is beautiful.

  5. A masterly example of the Pantoum format Ingrid, and I have not written on yet!… although I have written a Villanelle,which I think is similar …

      1. Pantoums are quite relaxing to do, though: it’s word-weaving 😊 and I don’t believe that you find writing poetry hard…

      2. I suppose I work hard at my poetry … and I constantly challenge myself to create a poem of quality every day .. πŸ“˜πŸŒπŸ˜‰

      3. I’ve been writing poems for 20 years, and I have my own particular style/format, that is simplistic and uncomplicated and easy for me to reproduce when I am writing my poems

  6. I don’t know of you found the perfect form for these wprds or the perfect words for this frm, but either way it’s pure delight.

  7. what a beautiful flow and repeat you did so well Ingrid!
    πŸ‘πŸ’–
    I have to agree with what you said here “I find this description quite hard to follow, but the form is easy to recognise when I read it”

    You know how I love studying forms…. πŸ€£πŸ’–

    1. πŸ˜… yes! Never do that ABAB thing – just read a good example and use that! Glad you liked it, anyway ❀️πŸ₯°πŸ˜

  8. holds onto nothing bigger than a dream
    and nothing better for a place to start

    Love the two lines, strong lines! It gives the feeling that one is not disadvantaged to start from scratch. Indeed it is an encouragement to perform!

    Hank

  9. Great pantoum Ingrid! The repetitions would bring back one’s attention to the words without straying off

    Hank

  10. holds onto nothing bigger than a dream
    and nothing better for a place to start

    Love these lines! It would allow anyone a chance to perform, very encouraging to everyone. Ingrid!

    Hank

  11. Well I already know I will not live long enough to learn them all. Pantoum. Never heard of it. But I love the poem for the lovely lineup of words. Always a pleasure to read you, Ingrid. Loved “Melodious Strains” matches the melodious strains of loveliness you added with your words. Thanks for sharing. Loved the poem. xo

      1. I knew you were going to say that!🀣
        We’ll see. I had all these poetry plans and that got an extra work assignment.
        But you’re welcome!

  12. This is absolutely beautiful, Ingrid! I especially love the change in punctuation in the first line, third stanza. By adding the exclamation point, it just adds energy and hope. So very well done.

  13. Brilliantly done! I continue to struggle with this form, though I love repeating forms, this one just escapes me.

  14. Loved the imagery in this one! I also really liked the line “two rights to join, and so correct a wrong” – it’s a nice play on the usual saying.

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