The day I didn’t get the operation

The surgery was scheduled. I thought I could cure all my ills with some skilful application of the surgeon’s knife. I thought who I was, was so bad, it must be cut out, silenced – prevented from harming myself and others. Truth is, I mostly only ever hurt myself. Truth is, I love myself, respect and honour my body. I will continue in this way, blanketed by love, never alone.

I feel it is one of those instances where the universe splits with the decision. Another me had the surgery, is waking up now, altered forever. I am with her, as she faces her new life.

Somewhere a queen lies
sleeping in another world
I hold her pale hand

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