Cloud, like a smudge on the sky
high above Trieste, Italy.
Cloud, when you kissed me goodbye
in own my mind, taking over me.
Thick clouds of steam, as my eyes
tear up – Ah,
how they stream of goodbye! How they
smudge my mascara.
© Experimentsinfiction 2021, All Rights Reserved
Written for dVerse
Today Mish is hosting Quadrille, where we write poems of exactly 44 words. Today’s prompt word is ‘smudge.’ I am still feeling inspired by Trieste, so I imagined a couple parting after a whirlwind love affair, back in the days of steam travel. I imagine there would be smudges aplenty!
The photo is of a clock in the interior of Trieste Centrale station.
How lovely to see this. And I like how you used it differently too – smudge in the sky and smudged mascara.
Thank you Grace: it is an evocative word.
The cloud and the mascara… you only hint on all the emotions that smudge when you travel in Trieste…
It is that kind of city: a meeting place and a departure point…
Oh how we do wear those smudges on our heart. Lovely poem.
Thank you Misky. Wear them we do!
Ingrid, this is an unbelievable piece. You have my heart. I wish you could hear my applauses.
Oh Gabriela what a wonderful compliment! Thank you so much ❤️
You are welcome. I really love this piece ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I like how you held onto the theme of tears and steam and learning where you were coming from and how the photo lends itself to the story makes it quite wonderful, Ingrid.
Thank you Lisa 😊
You’re welcome, Ingrid 🙂
Oh I like where your muse took you, the repetition of “cloud” and the light-hearted ending. I almost attached a photo of a pour soul’s smudged mascara in the prompt. I guess we’ve all been there.
Thank you! There’s always waterproof, but I think with enough tears even that will run…
You know I love micro-poetry, Ingrid, and this is one of my favorite pieces from you! I love how you move beautifully from the clouds in the sky to the emotion in your smudged mascara.
Thank you Jaya for your encouragement! I like what comes up within the constraints of this form.
How beautifully written, Ingrid. The tears smudging mascara as the narrator recalls the affair and the goodbye, that was really poignant and heartbreaking. You can feel the pain there.
Thank you Lucy, I am pleased the emotions came over.
So romantic and nostalgic. I like the repetition of “cloud” and the light-hearted ending. I almost included a photo of a poor soul’s smudged mascara. I guess we’ve all been there. 🙂
“Mish”. The problem persists with posting a comment under my WordPress account…but only on your blog. Very strange.
Strange, but don’t worry! Thanks for your comment Mish 😊
Cleverly executed, dear.
Most men don’t wear mascara, so we are free to weep copiously at funerals, weddings, and sad movies. Your poem works beautifully for the prompt.
The guy from Clockwork Orange might understand…
Still waiting for my husband to get home from Reserve training. I have had smudged mascara with his coming and going over the years and can relate to this! 💕
I can imagine! I hope you don’t have to wait too much longer ❤️
Just a little longer! (Not supposed to give dates on social media)
I can picture that couple just clinging to one another not wanting to part and certainly the smudged mascara…well done!
Thank you 😊
a wonderfull look at a nostalgic trip. Italy is one of those places
It certainly is, thanks Rog!
Smudge X 2 = 1 outstanding work, Ingrid!
Thank you Ron. I guess he could have smudged her lipstick but I missed that one…
I feel like this tells a whole story in just 44 words. And I love the image of smudged mascara. You put it on in the morning with care and anticipation and then… it’s an image that just says so much
Thank you so much 😊
Tears become the ultimate smugger I like your cloud metaphors! Well done.!
Thank you Dwight!
Brilliant word-play Ingrid! You connected beautifully the smudge in the clouds and to that of your mascara. Twice to give emphasis to ‘smudge’
Thank you 😊
Ah, two smudges in your “smudge” poem. Overachiever! 😆 Lovely and romantic writing.
There is no stopping those tears, when they need to flow and take the mascara with them.
I realised I could have had 3 if I’d thought about lipstick, but never mind!
Ha! Then you would just be showing off. 😆 I think that is a marvelous addition! An easy edit. 😉
Thank you ❤️
Most welcome dear ♥♥
Touching poem Ingrid — about tye perils of makeup… 😏😉
Oh yes, it can cause havoc!
oooh. sad sad poem but the way you used smudge made it somehow adorable. 🙂 awesome!
Thank you 😊
I can so feel her pain. Beautifully done.
Thank you Dale 🙏
I’m a sucker for period pieces. 🙂 Very emotive. I like the repetition and rhythm.
Thank you 🙏
“how they stream of goodbye”–thats wonderful. (K)
Thank you Kerfe.
Wonderful wonderful poetry! The ending is just perfect.
Thank you Jay, that’s very kind!
I guess in the whole scheme of life a smudge of makeup is comparable to a cloud in the sky. just a lot bigger.
I love your philosophical perspective!
Lol, philosophy was never a strong point for me…or so I thought!
This was so well done, Ingrid 🙂 – and I’m glad you explained the steam travel piece because I wouldn’t have quite understood it otherwise. When I read the explanation, everything fell into place for me!
44 words don’t allow for much explanation 😅
A double-smudge of sadness in your poem. I can feel the tears stinging. Loved this.
Thank you 😊
I appreciate this take on the prompt. Been there🙂
Thank you 🥲
Oh I have experienced mascara streaming down my cheeks … I love every word of this Ingrid. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Thank you Helen! 😊
ooh loved every word here Ingrid. Nice take my friend❣️
Thank you Cindy 🥰
So evocative–love the cloud smudge and smudged mascara. I imagine them in an old black and white movie–but she’s definitely wearing red lipstick, along with the mascara. 😀