Pearls of Wisdom from my Childhood #poetry #Earthweal

Chewits are chewier than Barrow-in-Furness bus depot
Milk is what Ian Rush drinks
Accrington Stanley is a club you’ve never heard of
Don’t play with a kite near overhead electric wires
Don’t ever talk to strangers, especially if
They have a car boot full of puppies, or
They offer you sweets, but
If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit
Join our Club
Pppppick up a Penguin
Or a glass and a half of milk disguised as
A nutritious chocolate bar
Called ‘Dairy Milk’
It’s full of palm oil nowadays: 
Tastes like shit.

How times have changed:
All the sweetness of commercialism turned sour
Still those Wagon Wheels keep on rollin
As long as we pipe oil, and gas and coal in
Keep em rollin
Till there’s nothing left but rock
That doesn’t roll.

© Experimentsinfiction 2020, All Rights Reserved

This started off as a bit of fun which turned into something more serious. I loved adverts as a kid, I was spoon-fed commercialism, alongside some scary infomercialism.

I am posting this in response to Earthweal’s Open Link Weekend #40. I think we’re starting to reap the dubious rewards of rampant commercialism now: Cadbury was taken over by Kraft which became the sinister ‘Mondelez‘ whose cocoa plantations are contributing to the rapid depletion of the natural environment in Ghana and the Ivory Coast. And despite the problems we are seeing from just 1 degree of warming, our leaders in their infinite wisdom continue allow the building of pipelines and seek to exploit the resources newly exposed by melting sea ice. It should be criminal and yet we call it progress.

In case you missed out on a 1980’s childhood in the UK, here are the adverts/infomercials I’ve mentioned above (which I must admit, I thoroughly enjoyed watching again):

Chewier than Barrow in Furness bus depot!
It’s what Ian Rush drinks…
He was stupid…
Say ‘No’ to strangers…
Join our Club!
Pick up a Penguin…
A glass and a half
Keep ’em Rolling

Featured image photo from

28 thoughts on “Pearls of Wisdom from my Childhood #poetry #Earthweal

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    1. Thank you so much Michele! You’re right about the mixed emotions: revisiting childhood memories can be a bit of a rollercoaster ride 🎢

      1. So true! The poem I am reading tonight for an anthology launch is inspired by the prompt, “The place I’m from.” Most definitely a mix of emotions and opposing ideas. Such is life!

  1. My father too has fond memories of old advertisements; how humorous and silly they were. Also, the days of ordering tin-plated gizmos off the back of magazines had its moments too! 🙂

  2. Little did we know we were being trained to be consumers. I enjoyed this glimpse of your childhood. My kids were growing in the 80’s. I remember them laughing hysterically at Mork and Mindy on our tiny black and white tv.

  3. I have to admit I love watching the adverts on TV. My family always laugh about the way I remark on them all. Sadly, MOH is the remote control, holder and he flicks from one channel to the next when the ads come on. I enjoyed remembering some favourites from these clips. Remember the Milk Tray man? Maybe that was the 70s.

  4. Fun and scary stuff. Our generation (I mentioned us elsewhere to you) was spoon-fed commercialsm in a way not experienced on Gaia — we’re hardwired for sugary goodness, no matter how much Indonesian forest burns in the name of palm oil or how fat the earth’s middle grows. I so though life was supposed to taste like a bowl of milk and Cap’n Crunch … then I discovered whiskey …

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