There’s a razor-edge scraping
the broad blue blood-light of the sky
about to burst into
all the bright colours of day
but I can’t see it
not today:
I’m stuck in the shadow-side of the mountain
‘Mount What-might-have-been’
wondering
if I made the right cut
would that let the light flood in
and fill me with forgetfulness
of everything that once has been and
never will again?
But I won’t carve this wicked sadness into me
I’d rather live to fight another day:
To see that light
and make my peace with
memories of
(sad am I
without) thee.
© Experimentsinfiction 2020, All Rights Reserved
Linking to Earthweal’s Open Link Weekend #50. Dedicated to anyone missing loved ones over this festive season.
Experiments in Fiction 
Lot of strength put into this piece. Very evocative regarding its subject matter of having lost someone and potentially seeing self harm as a solution. Well written, thanks for sharing!
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Thank you 🙏
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This is really evocative, like another comment said. Truly powerful. I might read it again to get a better understanding of it, but I know that it has ignited a spark.
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Thank you, I’m pleased it spoke to you.
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My absolute pleasure friend. It very much did. Have a fantastic new year.
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Wishing you the same!
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You don’t need to be a self-harmer to feel this one. That mountain is there, blotting out the light.
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Thanks Jane – literal and metaphorical.
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:)
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I’m hoping it’s more metaphorical.
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Only the mountain is literal!
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Good! Pleased to hear it :)
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Beautifully paced, Ingrid xo
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Thanks Nick 🙏
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So poignant, that missing. Likely we are all feeling some degree of that these days. Sigh. I sure did. A beautiful poem and photo. I love the blue-tinged snows of winter.
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Thank you, Sherry. It might be a dark beauty, but it is beauty nonetheless.
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Well done. The image flows in and out of the words.
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Thank you 🙏
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Gorgeous image you begin with — is that the view from where you live? Regardless, the clarity of edge there is what the heart can’t quite provide. We are not saints … I love the construction of the last line, “… memories of / (sad am I /
without) thee” — showing the heart’s duplicity through the end. Would that edges be so clean. Well done. – Brendan
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Thank you, Brendan. This is about a half hour’s drive from where we live. It’s quite a privilege to have these places close by.
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I can feel the tension in this balancing act. Brave words. (K)
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Thank you, Kerfe. Words help me work through these feelings.
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You know, even as a metaphor, this is super powerful (the idea of metaphorically cutting, rather than actually cutting sadness into one’s self)
Well done.
-David
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Thank you David.
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Awesome thoughts, shown in an awesome poem, great work, Ingrid.
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Thank you Carolyn.
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That is such a powerful image in the opening lines, Ingrid, and I love the paradox of not being able to see it because you’re ‘stuck in the shadow-side of the mountain’. Lines I would have identified with many years ago:
‘if I made the right cut
would that let the light flood in
and fill me with forgetfulness
of everything that once has been’.
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Lovely imagery!
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Thanks Hobbo!
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Ingrid, this poem eloquently expresses the pain so many people experience at the holidays…a time when suicide numbers rise. The poem gives some understanding of possible motivations. Very dramatic photo of an impressive mountain!
Wishing you and your family a New Year of health, happiness and prosperity! The days are getting longer again. I wish you many sunny days to come! <3
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