EIF Poetry Challenge #13: The Results

I think it’s fair to say that this week’s challenge has been the most challenging to date. I am judging by the amount of participants who told me the villanelle form had stretched them, as it did me: the first villanelle I wrote did not follow the traditional rhyme scheme, so I had to write another in order to rise to my own personal challenge.

Given the difficulty of the challenge, I am particularly impressed by the high quality of entries received. Thank you so much to everyone who took part. It was a joy to read your villanelles, and I would encourage others to check the comment thread of the Villanelle Challenge so you can read all of the entries. I now hand over to this week’s judge, Liz Gauffreau, to announce the winners.

First place: Taking ship when the grey gulls call by Jane Dougherty

With all the many things still left to do,
Before the night falls, bringing final dreams,
And the ship to take us where the grey gulls flew,

I let the seconds diamond-drip like dew.
Words wait, ink-dry, to fill white paper, reams,
With all the many things left still to do.

We planted roses, thought that when they grew,
Their blooms would fill the house’s cracking seams,
And the ship to take us where the grey gulls flew,

But their boughs are frail, and the changing hue
Of rainbows fading shows how water teems
With all the many things left still to do.

I’d memorise the thrush’s song, build blue-
Skied worlds with sunset words and golden beams,
And the ship to take us where the grey gulls flew,

For there is no time to start the world anew,
Nor chase the river where the far sea gleams,
With all the many things left still to do.

The balance tips, desires, plans askew;
We fill our hands with memories and streams
Of all the many things left still to do,
Before the ship takes us where grey gulls flew.

Judge’s comments:

I admire poets who are able to use set forms effectively to tell a story, create an experience, or deliver a message. With a strict rhyme scheme, the villanelle is a particular challenge, which the contest entries met admirably. It was hard to choose a winner!

I chose “Taking ship when the grey gulls call” for first place for its central metaphor of “the ship to take us where the grey gulls flew” and lyrical use of language and imagery. It created such a sense of longing in me for “all the many things still left to do” that I wanted to ask the poet, How did you know what I’ve been experiencing of late, and how did you know just the right metaphors to express it? 

Congratulations, Jane! This is a fine poem and thoroughly deserving of first place. I would like to offer you the opportunity to judge next week’s challenge, should you wish to do so.

Second place: Best of Yesterday (Once More) by Nick Reeves

Dressed in her best of yesterday once more
(corduroy troubadour; bohemian),
she hums ‘femme fatale’ coming through the door.

Pulls her verse from her purse, pours love galore;
an elegy for her absent old man.
Dressed in her best of yesterday once more.

Her lament pools on the hessian floor
(flooding fringe, frown and fridge; glancing at pan).
She hums ‘femme fatale’ coming through the door.

Charmeuse, chiffon. Chantilly lace, for sure.
(vaudevillian; channelling Dylan)
Dressed in her best of yesterday once more.

Beneath her glove she wears a rabbit’s paw.
(“Fain to chorus villanelle.” Ariane!)
She hums ‘femme fatale’ coming through the door.

Once more, turning tide. Once more! To the shore
once more, to my side, my dear darling man…
Dressed in her best of yesterday, once more
she hums ‘femme fatale’ coming through the door.

Judge’s comments: “Best of Yesterday (Once More)” is a close second for the story it tells through the repeating lines, “Dressed in her best of yesterday, once more / she hums ‘femme fatale’ coming through the door.” I particuarly appreciated the surpise of the last stanza when we learn that our femme fatale can indeed turn the tide for her dear darling man once more. 

Congratulations, Nick, on your spellbinding poem! It is always a pleasure to feature your work on this site.

Third Place: Cloggy’s Ghost by Benji

Once upon a time in Blackpool town
There was a man who worked on the ghost train:
They say that Cloggy’s ghost still wanders round

He took the lever and he pushed it down
The ghost train sprung to life in sun and rain:
Once upon a time in Blackpool town.

Sometimes he wore a smile, sometimes a frown:
The riders cried in fright, as if in pain!
They say that Cloggy’s ghost still wanders round.

Some people took him for a frightful clown
And he looked for respect, but all in vain
Once upon a time in Blackpool town.

His hair was black, his eyes were darkest brown
his face so ugly he could not be vain
They say that Cloggy’s ghost still wanders round.

And now I step aboard, the lever’s down
But no hand holds the lever in the rain
They say that Cloggy’s ghost still wanders round
like once upon a time in Blackpool town.

Judge’s comments: Rounding out the winners is “Cloggy’s Ghost” because it immediately brought to mind all of those wonderful narrative poems my dad read to me when I was little, with rhymes and refrains that called out for another reading. And another and another and another.

Congratulations to our very own Benji! His imagination was fired by the story of Cloggy’s Ghost, which he learned about after our visit to Blackpool Pleasure Beach in the summer. He has also written an award-winning story on the same subject, which you can read on Benji’s Very Big Blog.

Thanks once again to all those who took part this week! Stay tuned for the next EIF Poetry Challenge…
Ingrid