The Colourblind Grief by Jude Gorini: 29/04/23

I am excited to announce that the latest publication from EIF, The Colourblind Grief by Jude Gorini will be released this Saturday, 29 April, and will be available from Amazon and selected bookstores. To give you a taster of what to expect from this exciting debut novel (EIF’s first full-length fiction publication) read on…

London 2011, the year before the Olympics. The city is buzzing, and Daniel is just starting his journey into self-destruction: living a life of toxic love as his only remaining option. Sex, drugs and rock & roll are his sustenance. His mental health issues warp his life.

10 years later, everything has changed. Was it just a lie created by his family, or by his mind?

This is a journey of death and rebirth, through obsession and healing, towards discovery of the inner self.

A rip-roaring ride of a confessional novel, which takes place within the gay club scene of East London, before moving to Europe and the serene, sandy beaches of La Graciosa. Jude Gorini has written a brave, uncompromising tale which deals with issues of mental health, sexual identity and self-discovery. Difficult to put down, and impossible to forget!

About the Author

Jude Gorini (born 1985) is a Latino queer Author, podcaster, and creative artist.

He is the author of two poetry collections: Words/Wars, and Sorry, I’m Mad, both about his personal experience dealing with mental health, bipolar disorder and gender identity. His poem, ‘Mother’ was included in the anthology Wounds I Healed: The Poetry of Strong Women (also from EIF) a bestselling release in 2022.

Advance review from Tara Caribou of Raw Earth Ink

The Colourblind Grief by Jude Gorini follows the life of Daniel, a queer man living with double personality syndrome in his twenties and thirties. He begins by describing his life as he attempts to cover over any difficult situations or chaos or trauma with clubbing, drinking, drugs, and sex. Not recognizing how beautiful his own soul truly is, he assumes everyone around him views him as worthless and not good enough. Any time a friend or lover reaches in and shows him care and real affection; he sabotages the relationship and dives headlong into another.

Daniel doesn’t realize that he has never learned what real love is, yet he occasionally searches within himself, trying to answer why he makes the choices he does. Couple that with several seemingly wonderful relationships in which the other man is using him and leaves him, and it’s the perfect storm of unmet needs to truly be understood and accepted, self-hatred, self-doubt, and mistrust towards others.

Eventually, Daniel comes to realize that he must stop drinking and doing drugs, when tragedy strikes his best friend. He becomes sober and really begins to explore his perceptions and his reactions to both negative and positive stimuli. In this self-exploration, he learns there is a separation between emotions and intellect and he must choose carefully which he follows.

This was a deeply moving story which pulled me in right from the start. My heart broke reading about his life and all that he experienced as well as what he brought on himself. But what really brought in close was I could feel his heart. I wanted the best, the good things. I wanted him to break free and realize his potential. I wanted him to know true love, both giving and receiving. Daniel clearly could not see what a beautiful soul he was and it’s evident, as he responds to a lover who says, upon learning of some of his past trauma, that Daniel is strong and amazing. “I never felt like a strong and amazing person. I perceive myself more as someone born to suffer. Life was treating me good at that moment, but my past was a giant chaos, full of traumas and bad choices.” I loved that introspection. Acknowledging the perception he had of himself, balanced with another’s view, as well as his own choices and unchosen trauma. This connected me to him deeper, knowing he was more than his circumstances or decisions. More than the drugs or drinking or bad parenting or mental illness.

This book gets 5/5 stars from me. Nice story length, engaging characters, great emotional balance, and writing that is easy to read without being sophomoric. Highly recommended to those who enjoy real stories of personal growth or biographical memoirs.

~Tara Caribou, editor and author at Raw Earth Ink