Guest Post: Don Matthews Trilogy #10

Don has a touch of the Lockdown Blues this week, and it’s sent him a little ‘Whacky,’ but it’s also given him the chance to dream up some poetry in the shower, as you’ll find out below. Priscilla (featured above) has donned her favourite shower cap in celebration. For more of Don’s work (and more of Priscilla) head over to his site, The Flippant, Comic, and Serious.

Whacky

This lockdown’s sent me whacky
Whacky reigns supreme
Three cheers for whacky, one, two, three
Whacky on your screen

But whacky does have advantages:

Whacky relieves pressure
Whacky reigns supreme
Three cheers for whacky, one, two, three
Whacky on your screen

‘ray ‘ray ‘ray

Don Matthews April 2020

Shit. Excuse Expletive

Shit. Excuse expletive
Standing in the shower
Verse from heaven falls down
Gem. A little flower

Shit. Excuse expletive
Rubbing bod with soap
Hanging on to flower
Tied it with a rope

Shit. Excuse expletive
Hopping out the shower
Hanging on so preciously
To my little flower

Shit. Excuse expletive
Towelling outer/unner
Now where’s my little flower ?
Shit. She’s done a runner

Don Matthews June 2018

I did eventually capture my little runaway.
She’s now captured in a poem. No escape.

I’m a Celebrity. I’m Self-Isolating in my Mansion.
Watch Me on Instagram

I’m Dave Geffen celebrity
Isolating on my yacht
In pristine waters Grenadines
Easy? Shit, it’s not

Yacht’s 600 million
Can’t party with my friends
On board we have all luxuries
When will my pain stop, end?

I’m also a celebrity
“We’re all in this together”
Concerned I am about supply
Of global Italian leather

Hi there all it’s Ellen here
“Jailed” up in my mansion
Five bedrooms and ten bathrooms
(Hope I’ve got right scansion)

Ellen here, I encourage you
Keep chin up, watch your health
You aren’t very de generous El
Just showing obscene wealth

I wish celebrities would not appear
In luxurious resort-size grounds
Instagramming in their wealth
While corona us impounds

Billionaire David Geffen, whose net worth is around 7.7 billion dollars (according to Forbes), took to his Instagram handle to share that he is currently self-isolating (with a crew of 45) in Grenadines in his mega-yacht worth 590 million dollars. Sharing a picture of his yacht in the middle of the Caribbean sea and captioning it as ‘avoiding the virus, hope everyone’s safe’ didn’t go down well with his 84,000 followers.

Don Matthews April 2020