I don’t remember much about the first house that I lived in. I remember my mum and dad dancing to records after drinking too much wine. Perhaps they had an argument too, or else why would I remember the wine? But I don’t remember the argument, I just remember them dancing to records. I remember sitting on the sofa crying when it was time to leave.
When I was three years old, we moved into the house which would become my home for the next 15 years. After that, I would keep trying to leave: at 18 (I lasted 3 days); at 19, when I went to university, but still kept coming back; even when I moved out and set up home with the man who would become my husband, we ended up living there together for 3 years.
Then finally we moved all the way to London. I was still attached to my childhood home. When I had my first son we moved back there once again. 6 months in that house with a newborn baby turned out to be a permanent cure for homesickness. We soon moved back to London, then on to Barcelona, Malaga, Slovenia…I couldn’t imagine going back to live there now, though there was once a time when I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
Winds of change howling
over the terraced rooftop
of my childhood home.
Written for dVerse
Lillian has asked us to delve into our most distant childhood memories and write a short prose piece based on this, followed by a traditional haiku. I have very vague memories of my first ever home, which I left when I was 3. The photo shows my youngest son in my childhood home, on his third birthday.
I have got used to moving house in recent years, but at times I get nostalgic. My poem, ‘No Homelike Place‘ which was based partially on these experiences.
I was also three years old when we moved (the only time we ever moved) and I still remember things from our first place as well as that sensation of moving into a new built home.
Yes I suppose these big changes stick with us! I wonder what on earth my kids will remember as they’ve moved so much?
I love the push and pull you describe about your childhood home, and then finally breaking away from it. The first home I remember—I miss it with nostalgia and memories while also recognizing we needed to leave. Very beautifully penned as always. I was immersed entirely in your haibun.
Thank you Lucy: you’ve described it exactly right when you say it’s a push and pull ❤️
What a darling photo of your son! So interesting that you remember your parents dancing when you were so young. Interesting you remember them with wine too. I think you then add your interpretation as it is conceived now. Maybe they were actually celebrating something? 🙂 So interesting how you were drawn back to the home you spent so much time growing up in….and now how you’ve changed home so many times you are used to it….rather than sitting on the couch and crying as you did when you were little. As adults we do learn to adjust and we also learn to hold in our feelings…at least now show them so all the world can see. I often think it would be wonderful to feel as comfortable as a two year old who simply lies down on the floor kicking and crying when they’re upset. They just get rid of all those feelings. Wouldn’t that sometimes be nice? 🙂
Thanks for sharing! Enjoyed this very much!
Thank you Lillian! I am pleased you enjoyed this haibun. I love the idea of lying on the floor screaming when I don’t get my way 😅 I think you’re right about that early memory: I am trying to deduce things I cannot remember!
Oh dear. Did my comment disappear or with this new keyboard and mouse I didn’t hit Post Comment correctly?
I got both, thank you, so perhaps WordPress is playing games again!
wow, precious picrture of you son looking so immersed in his toys Ingrid!
I love you remembered the good times too which were first and foremost in your mind.
Mine was just the opposite and as soon as I could go, I ran but I returned too. the bitter sweet. Love your Haiku! 🤗❤️
I think these type of memories always are! Little man enjoyed the last visit there as you can see 🤣
I so agree and I so see enjoying every minute!
What a lovely memory of your parents dancing, Ingrid, and having that attachment to your childhood home. I love the haiku.
Interesting the pull your first home held for you. Your haiku is wonderful!!
Thank you Beverly 🙏
A wonderful Haibun Ingrid…. and yes there will always be childhood home stories…
Take me to my home
Home is where my heart is
Home’s on that windy hill
Above a secret valley
Hovering, a heavenly cloud
Take me to my home
I’m waiting here alone
All packed ready to go
Vacating this old place
Leaving this world behind
Take me to my home
The beyond will be greener
I know you’ll be there
You’ve been waiting so long
I know you’ll hold me again
Hold me in our home
I love your word-song Ivor ❤️🙏🥲
Thanks Ingrid … one of those ones that nearly made my Book
So interesting about your home and the hold it had on you. And interesting about that early memory of your parents dancing.
I don’t have a place like that. There’s a house that my sisters and I love as our dream house, but I was a teen when I lived there, then went to college, then got married, and my mom sold it a few years later.
I don’t think my children will have a place like that either: to me it’s both a blessing and a curse, all those memories.
I just realized it’s the opposite for my children. We bought the house we’re still living in when I was pregnant with our older daughter.
Your children will have memories of all the places they’ve lived and experiences with other cultures!
Even though I moved away in my mid-teens, I retain some clear recollections of my childhood home (as do we all, I guess) and your sharing here was a pleasure to share…but I could never go back; not even once…even to visit.
Thanks for sharing, Ingrid.
I can’t go back to the home my second son was born in and I find that really hard. He must hardly remember it by now!
Great share Ingrid, and a powerful haiku that so well expresses the prose. I never had that type of attachment to anyplace until I arrived in Oregon in 1990.
It’s great to have a place to call home whenever and wherever we find it!
A great haibun Ingrid! Going back home after growing up is not quite the same as we remembered. You have had an interesting life living in a variety of places.
I can’t argue with that Dwight! Thank you 🙏
Ingrid, I moved many times during my childhood. My brother and sister enjoyed moving more than I did. I do have nostalgia for many of the places I have lived and have visited most of them again. You have moved several times. Hopefully your children find moving an adventure and have fond memories of their childhood! I know they will remember the time they get to spend with you. <3 All the best!
Thank you Cheryl ❤️ they seem to adapt well to moving house, they are surely used to it by now. Perhaps it’s a good lesson, that love stays the same wherever you live 😊
Ingrid, two things:
This line is so REAL and RELATABLE to me. I totally get it, and you conveyed it perfectly.
I think your haiku is one of the best that I’ve read in a while.
Thank you David, you are too kind 🙏
Lovely reflections. I went back to a childhood home late last year and I totally relate to your confused feelings. Nostalgia is so powerful. Beautifully expressed. And the growth away both liberating and sad.
Indeed it is. Thank you 🙏
I find it amazing what we remember as children. This is so poignant Ingrid.
Thank you Linda – it is fascinating!
I love getting to know poets thru their real memories and stories!!
It is lovely I agree!
I’ve lived so many places my memories are all mixed up. My parents told us that we were to leave after we finished school, we were on our own. My younger brother tried to move back after college, but they said no. But then they had no attachment to any one place as they were moving all the time too. Both my girls came home, left, came home, left Now we are all on our own.
I suppose you had no choice but to make your own home, in that case! I wonder if my children will have mixed up memories too. It’s interesting to read that other people have moved around as much as me. For some reason I always imagine other people being settled, I think I am comparing myself to friends I grew up with.
My family has always been restless it seems. But I’m getting too old for it.
Such a beautiful haibun. Loved it. 🙂
Thank you Goutam 🙏
I really like the haiku. The winds of change keep howling. Life is all about transitions isn’t it? Where is home for you now?
Thanks for sharing.
Home is Slovenia, for now 😅
It is just amazing to me that I can connect with you from so far away.
We used to move out a few times. However the one one stays the longest will retain most of the memories..