My ruthless uterus #poetry #PMDD

I don’t mean to complain
about my ruthless uterus 
but all the same
(though I hate to make a fuss)
periodically it drives me
almost insane.

Ok it’s not really
the uterus, but
the hormones triggered
by its cycles and not even really that
but the actions of these hormones on the brain.

Why is it always ‘the’ brain anyway?
as if to say we can’t lay claim to it
or it encompasses all that is us
including my unruly uterus 

and for sure both brain and uterus
are out of my control
forcing me to learn my own body language, 
to listen intently to its reactions:

don’t feed it too much caffeine 
don’t overload it with sugars but maintain 
stable blood sugar levels always
otherwise you’ll feel as if you’re dying

but you’re not, so be glad of that
even when the Devil comes and whispers in your ear ‘why not
take the easy way out?’

You will be tested, periodically 
taken to the dark side
by the functions of the body
and to remember the bright side will become 
an act of faith.

And so we grow:
regardless of the blood and bone and brain
or plain because of it
ruthless uteruses all belong to
warriors: to every one of us.

© Experimentsinfiction 2021, All Rights Reserved

This poem is dedicated to all PMDD and endometriosis sufferers

It is PMDD awareness month: it’s a condition I have, and have written about extensively. Endometriosis is another condition which causes problems to women with ruthless uteruses. I’m here to say we will no longer be patted on the knee by condescending doctors who make light of our ‘women’s problems.’ We are warriors, advocating for our reproductive health.

Written for dVerse, where Grace has prompted us to write a poem about the body.

61 thoughts on “My ruthless uterus #poetry #PMDD

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  1. This is wonderful Ingrid. I am always amazed at your ability to perfectly express how awful sharing a body with a ruthless uterus is, and in a beautiful way too.

    Some of the issues us women have to go through are so taboo; PMDD, infertility, endometriosis, PCOS, to name but a few. A lot of people don’t realise what a battle it can be living with these things sometimes, and that’s through no fault of their own since they are such taboo subjects to begin with. I find it really difficult to talk about my own issues with anyone outside of our small circle of close friends. It’s great that you can write about and share your experiences and raise awareness, though I’m sure that, like me, you’d rather not be a member of the ruthless uterus club!!!

    Stay strong lovely lady! Maybe the menopause will save us from our troubles!

  2. We all learn to listen carefully to our own body as we grow older. I have family history of ill health on both sides so my medical exams every year must be done. Testing and more testing becomes the norm. I love the idea of being a warriors, being so brave in the face of health concerns. I hope all is well with you.

  3. Well done, Ingrid, for taking a difficult and painful topic and portraying it in perfect words, to raise awareness and understanding. I know that you’ve written about it before, but this poem has taken it a step further with the expressive phrase ‘ruthless uterus’. Before my hysterectomy over fifteen years ago, I too was ‘taken to the dark side by the functions of the body’. I get it, I really do.

  4. A most gorgeously worded, painstakingly honest poem, Ingrid. I have said once and I’ll say it again, you are my hero! This part moved me to tears; “You will be tested, periodically taken to the dark side by the functions of the body and to remember the bright side will become an act of faith.” Yes, we mustn’t lose faith. 💝💝 Kudos for taking such a difficult and painful topic and creating awareness.

  5. There’s something shamanic about poetry and the body is somehow its dream – I found that so, trying to make some vatic sense of the migraine syndrome that has been the wicker man I sometimes burn away in. Shamans in their initiation almost died of their afflictions — yet it was in the depths of that falling apart that they located the gods of the disease and were re-assembled by them, bone by bone. Every poem is one of those bones. Maybe or maybe not; but if we can’t somehow sing through that darkness, then whatarewegonnado? And what is song without a ruthless uterus?

    1. ‘yet it was in the depths of that falling apart that they located the gods of the disease and were re-assembled by them’ – I can identify very strongly with this. Sometimes I am treated to migraine as part of the barrage of PMDD symptoms…

  6. This is, simply put, fabulous. It needs to get published. It expresses so much of womanhood and also the need to see the body as a whole organism. Not the sum of its parts.

  7. Tight down to the point Ingrid. Being a diabetic, this really resonated for me, “stable blood sugar levels always
    otherwise you’ll feel as if you’re dying”! Excessive sugar makes me very high — the feels like I’m gonna die, then I fall asleep by and by. Well written my friend.

  8. So well done, Ingrid. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
    And condescending doctors. UGH!

    It does seem like younger people now are more comfortable talking about their bodies now.

    1. Thanks Merril, it’s a good thing, not just for women but also for men who often put off visiting the doctor when they know they should!

    1. Thank you Christine, right now I can’t change it so I have to live with it. There are treatments but these are quite drastic.

    1. I think I know where all those tales of women being ‘possessed by devils’ come from now. There are days I feel my mind and body are not really my own, and all I can do is remove myself from situations where I could cause harm.

  9. A friend of mine has endometriosis. I see how her life practically stops once a month when she’s confined to her bed for days. I understand the pain because I can tell by my friend’s experience. I think it’s very brave and honest of you to share it in your poem. Thank you.

  10. I’ve had some *changes* and *irregularity* lately and I think it may just be my age. NOT looking forward to menopause. I’m now getting off the FLO gummies I told you about, lol, just in case it was that. What a literal pain having a ruthless uterus!!

    1. Thank you Cindy 😊❤️we just adopted a cat and the poor guy is terrified of everything, but I’m sure we’re going to be great friends 😻

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